We understand that going public with allegations as heavy as these, requires information and an explanation. Which is the reason we created the Podcast. To give as much detail as possible while staying within legality lines.
However, we also understand that listening to the entire podcast start to finish is not something everyone is willing to do.
So in this section, each episode has been broken down. In the hopes that you can easily find, then listen to, the specific episode that holds the information you are looking for.
Episode 1
Finding My Voice
Sometimes Human Trafficking looks like what you might think…across the world, in some far away country, in a run down brothel or people in the back of trucks being transported across borders… but sometimes, Human Trafficking can also look like the girl next door. The one in the brown house with the swimming pool and the park across the street. This episode begins to tell the true story of a suburban, middle class girl who was trafficked and sexually exploited for decades starting even before the age of 6 years old. In this episode we introduce ourselves and begin sharing what it means to have a voice.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 2
My Two Worlds
How does a child live simultaneously a “normal” suburban childhood while being sex trafficked? The only way to survive that is to have a complete separation between one reality and the other. In this episode we talk about Kait’s two worlds - The Bright World and The Dark World.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 3
How Memory and Trauma Work
Sometimes people are confused about how it is possible for someone to be unable to access some factual details of a traumatic experience. In this episode, we are hoping to share some brain science information to show how it makes complete sense based on the science.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 4
Why Now and Escape Attempts… How It All Goes Together
In this episode we talk more about memory and Kait’s experiences of trying to break free. After so many years, and so many escape attempts, why will this one be different?
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 5
Trauma and Faith
In this episode we explore the question of faith and the relationship between trauma and faith. Spirituality and God was used against Kait throughout all the years of abuse. She was told repeatedly “God hates you”, “You were made by God for only this purpose”. These lies in her head, make faith and trusting God VERY difficult.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 6
How I Know
What are the aspects of a disclosure that provide clarity about the accuracy of the report? In this episode, Laurie, who has worked in the field of trauma therapy for decades, talks about the reasons she is ABSOLUTELY certain the trauma that Kait has shared is accurate and true. She talks about brain science and the elements of a true disclosure that make her sure.
Episode 7
Escape Attempt
Brace yourself….this one is hard….middle school is messy enough without all this. In this episode we talk about the first major “escape attempt” in Kait’s life. In 7th grade, trying to tell a teacher a piece of what was happening. CPS was not called, proper protocols were not followed. instead, her abusers were called in and her attempt to escape the horrifying abuse she was enduring failed. She remained even more stuck than she already was.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 8
Investigations
In this episode we explore the damage done when untrained individuals attempt to investigate allegations on their own. There is a reason for proper policy and protocols and when those are not followed there is so much damage that can be done.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 9
It was fun…until it wasn’t
“Skiing with my family is one of my favorite things…but then ski patrol happened”- Kait. In this episode we explore how common life experiences become more complicated when you have trauma. We talk about some of the physical health aftermath an abuse survivor can have and how it has affected Kait even now.
Episode 10
Keeping our Kids Safe
So….if we can’t be sure we will spot someone who poses a risk to our children HOW DO WE KEEP THEM SAFE?? The answer is to give them a deep sense of their own power and voice that will help them to protect themselves. In this episode, Laurie gives professional advice on how to keep our little ones as safe as we possibly can.
Episode 11
Escape Attempt #2
What happens when a child attempts to tell and isn’t heard? What would it take for her to try to tell again? Maybe rock bottom. Maybe desperation for relief. In this episode Kait shares the painful truth of the fall out of her second attempt to be free of her abusers and finally be safe. At this point, in high school, she tries to tell again but due to the lies being told about her, and the untrue narrative that her abusers have spread, her attempt fails yet again…leaving her stuck for the abuse to continue.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 12
Never Empty Threats
In this episode Kait shares more details about the threats that kept her from being able to tell the whole of her experience all at once rather than in pieces. She also talks about the current day threats that have been left at her house warning her to stop talking about the abuse. Telling the truth is STILL causing concern for her safety.
READ THE FULLY TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 13
Peripheral Puzzle Pieces
In this episode, we talk about the details that have been filled in for us since the podcast began. People who knew pieces of things that fit into the puzzle and helps us understand the bigger picture of what was going on around the abuse, how it was hidden and what some people thought. Thank you to all of you who have volunteered your experiences.....it has been illuminating.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 14
The Enablers
In this episode we address the painful truth that abusers will continue to abuse as long as the enablers enable. If we are waiting for the toxic people to suddenly wake up and decide to stop then we are going to wait forever. What if individuals and organizations like The Chapel at Crosspoint decided to stand firmly for the victims instead of enabling? In this story however, The Chapel did not. Instead, they protected Kait’s abusers within their walls, allowed them to continue serving and attending as if nothing had happened for too long. When this happens, the fall out is even more intense.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 15
We Keep Going
In this episode we share some of the impact this journey has had on us….and on some of our listeners. It has not always been easy or seamless...in fact its often messy and hard... but we keep going. We keep going because it matters.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 16
Where is God
In this episode, Laurie attempts to unpack the question of God’s presence in the heartache of this life.
Episode 17
Conversations with John Gannon
Listen to John Gannon (Kait’s father in law) talk about his perspective not only as a dad, but also as a long time member of The Chapel. John has been a volunteer, board member and staff member at The Chapel and gives some great insights into what this has been like as he has watched it all unfold.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 18
The College Years
In this episode we address the experiences Kait had during her college years. What she hoped would be a fresh start and an opportunity to reinvent herself turned out to be another time her abusers proved that their reach was long. Even though she now lived 10 hours away from Buffalo, NY, she found herself still stuck in the horrible trafficking abuse- repeatedly sold for sex.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 19
Response to the Congregational Statement (From The Chapel)
If only the words and actions matched….this episode would not have ever been recorded. We so so wish it were not needed but it seems to be. In this episode we address the comments made in the congregational statement published by The Chapel. We talk about how and why their statements are not ones of support and help, but rather a level of blaming the victim and justifying their missteps in the handling of these abuse allegations.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 20
Conversation with Amberlee and Tim
In this episode we give you a chance to hear directly from a woman who shared her experience of bringing allegations to The Chapel in 2018/19 regarding sexual abuse of her then 3 year old daughter. Different story, same reaction from The Chapel leadership. This young mother was told things like “don’t talk to people about it” “needless chatter is unnecessary” and “without a conviction, we cannot remove any volunteers”. Unacceptable responses when it comes to sexual abuse allegations.
Episode 21
What Should Happen
In this episode Kait and Laurie unpack what they wish for in an organization’s response to allegations of misconduct. They also directly address what they want to see from The Chapel. Accountability and change are at the core of what is needed there.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 22
The Second Wound
In this episode Kait and Laurie address the issues of The Second Wound. This happens when instead of support and protection, a survivor experiences victim blaming, denial and other damaging responses when they come forward with their trauma. Survivors are then left feeling re-traumatized, confused and isolated. In this episode, we unpack this very real and harmful phenomenon, and discuss many of the second wounds that Kait has had to endure.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 23
Entanglements and Connections
In this episode Kait and Laurie share more details, in hopes to shed even more light on the severity and enormity of this sex trafficking organization in WNY. They also share the bits of information that has come to them from other listeners, information that corroborates Kaits story and helps fill in some gaps.
Episode 24
The Science of Deception
In this episode we Interview Zachary Carr, PhD and consider how the science of deception informs our understanding of sex trafficking.
Episode 25
DARVO
Deny, Accuse, Reverse Victim and Offender (DARVO)…the playbook for responding when you’re accused of sexual abuse.
Episode 26
What makes family-based trafficking different? Pt 1
In this episode we start to unpack the unique realities of familial sex trafficking.
READ THE FULL TRANSCRIPT HERE
Episode 27
What makes family-based trafficking different? Pt 2
In this episode we continue to unpack the details that make familial sex trafficking unique, and highlight the unique needs of survivors.
Episode 28
Q&A: Part 1
You asked and we are answering! In this episode we answer some of the many questions we have gotten from our listeners since starting the podcast.
Episode 29
Q&A: Part 2
In this episode we continue to answer some of the many questions we have gotten from our listeners since starting the podcast.
Episode 30
Conversation with Christiana
In this episode we talk with Christiana Christiano about her own experience with the church that much of Kait’s abuse happened in, her own sexual abuse story, and her choice to get involved with The Ugly Truth About The Girl Next Door
Episode 31
Conversation with Kait’s husband, Patrick
Listen as Kait and her husband, Patrick talk about what it’s been like for him as he has walked this road with Kait. They share a little insight into their dating life, premarital counseling, and marriage as well as how it has been for him as the puzzle pieces have come together and the boxes have opened. If you are a spouse or loved one of someone who has experienced trauma, this is a good one to listen to!
Episode 32
Step up
In this episode we unpack the painful…and empowering…reality of how regular people make the difference. Thank you to the Buffalo Bills for taking a stand for the vulnerable even if it means a sacrifice….Go Bills!
Episode 33
Hopeful and Afraid Part 1
In this first part of a 2 part series, we unpack how a criminal investigation is experienced by the survivor
Episode 34
Hopeful and Afraid Part 2
In this episode we continue the discussion of how investigations feel to the survivor. We will specifically be addressing private/non-law enforcement investigations and their emotional impact on the survivor.
Episode 35
Decades of DARVO
In this episode we address recent events…and the repeating pattern of DARVO and it’s impact.
Episode 36
The Eye of the Storm
Also known as the messy middle….in this episode we will address some recent events and more about the reality of what it’s like for the survivors trying to get help.
Episode 37
Why is this so Difficult??
In this episode we share an authentic and sometimes raw look at what it is like to keep pressing forward when so many forces seem to be pushing against us.
Episode 38
Tear Down this Wall of Silence
In this episode we hear from Pastor Dale Ingraham who challenges the church to be who God calls us to be…a person who boldly stands up for the vulnerable and bring hope to the hopeless.
Episode 39
Naming Names…
In this episode we address the questions about naming names….Why now? What are the factors that affect the decision for us to name an offender….and what comes next.
Episode 40
The Paths to Safety and Justice
In this episode we talk through some of the potential paths to safety and justice, and how these paths can intersect and happen in parallel
Episode 41
How is this so hard……Pt1
In this episode we share how the investigation is going….or not going..
Episode 42
How is this so hard……Pt2
In this episode we share how the investigation is going….or not going..
Episode 43
The Good Shepherd
In this episode we talk with Darrin Folger, former Executive Pastor of ‘The Well’ in Amherst, NY about what God has to say about a shepherds response to a predator among the flock
Episode 44
Where did it all begin?
In this episode we talk through some of the churches involved and the offenders there
Episode 45
Majoring on the Minors
In this episode we unpack the phenomenon of 'staring at a pebble while the parade passes by'....otherwise known as 'majoring on the minors' or being distracted from what really matters by details that are irrelevant to the central message. Updated since we have to triple and quadruple think every single word and sentence
Episode 46
Trigger Warning: I am not alone Pt 1
In this first episode in a two part series, we have a conversation with Alicia Cohen who is a survivor of family controlled sex trafficking and the founder of SAFE (Survivors Against Familial Exploitation).
Join us as Alicia shares her experience of sexual abuse and exploitation at the hands of her father who who used the church to hide his crimes. Alicia also unpacks her very frustrating attempts to leverage the criminal justice system to address the very real ongoing safety concerns for current day victims.
Episode 47
Trigger Warning: I am not alone Pt 2
In this first episode in a two part series, we have a conversation with Alicia Cohen who is a survivor of family controlled sex trafficking and the founder of SAFE (Survivors Against Familial Exploitation).
Join us as Alicia shares her experience of sexual abuse and exploitation at the hands of her father who who used the church to hide his crimes. Alicia also unpacks her very frustrating attempts to leverage the criminal justice system to address the very real ongoing safety concerns for current day victims.
Episode 48
….and the there were two
In this episode we have a conversation with Emily who was Kait’s childhood friend. Emily shares her own memories of abuse and experiences with Cornerstone Church and some of the people there.